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(IM NOT NAMING ANYONES NAME IS THIS)
i hate this. i really do. you know, i want to move on.. but noooo, my mind, my HEART wont let me. and i do not know why... so i cant fall asleep at night, because i cant stop thinking about him.. and when i FINALLY fall asleep, i dream about him. and then i wake up, and hes still on my mind. and then i turn on some music, thinking it will maybe distract me from thinking about him. but then, of course.. the one of like five songs that makes me think of him comes on. that was the very song, that if i listen to the lyrics, i mean really listen.. i think of when we were together.. just about 2 or 3 weeks ago, me and a friend went to the movies, and i saw someone we knew (im not naming ANYONES name, you can prolly guess if you know me..) so i went and gave him a hug and said hi. and it was all good. i wasnt thinking of that guy, and i was exited to see the movie. and then, the guy we saw there said to me: "you know ***** is here.." and you cant even IMAGINE how i felt. i swear to GOD that i heart stopped beating, then sarted, beating fast and faster.. and then i felt like i was going to throw up. and then my head started feeling funny.. now tell me, usually no one feels like that when they hear a name.. but i dont know why, it just happend. i couldnt go to see ***** in the movies, i just couldnt. because i knew if i saw him again, i would brake down.. just tatally die. i mean it, this boy right here.. hes got me so confused. i love him oh so very very much, and i have done, well at least known since about grade 6. we used to talk, about ANYTHING. on the bus, at school, anywhere. i remember, his sister, and everyone used to always make fun of us, because they knew we had something, we just didnt know it. but i loved it, i loved being teased about liking him, because i knew, i knew i loved him. i still know i love him. but how come, please, tell me.. how come i cant move on, i mean, im prolly gunna see him, ohh.. maybe 1 every 2 months.. i know hes moved on, and i have TRIED to accept that, but for some reason i just CANT. and i have no clue why. uggh, please.. i NEED to get over him. i just dont know how or why i need to. i just know i do. and if you are reading this,, i just want you to know, that i love you with ALL my heart, and i will never let you go. you were so great to me, and you will always be in my heart. you were my first love, and i will never forget you,, even if you forget me..
i know this is kinda stupid to put in a blog, but this is like the only way i can get it out in the open.. even tho most of you prolly know.. but still, i just had to say it.

Thats me (i was there) my friend Nat that told me it all<3 (: